He Was Dead
by Serenity666
Summary: He was dead, gone forever. Why did he hear him laugh, then? HPSB pairing. one shot fic.


He was dead. Gone forever. He had left him. But why did he hear him laugh then?  
  
" damn you." thought Harry bitterly as he looked out the window griffindor tower. " damn you for coming. He told you to stay there. he pleaded with you, but you didn't listen. Damn you to hell. Damn you for being so stubborn. So pigheaded, so arrogant, so- so.so perfect. You were just so perfect. It should have been me. me and not you like it should have been all those years ago. I never should have lived. That's why i'm famous, after all. i'm the boy who lived. But now my life is over. You've taken every shred I had of a relatively happy life with you, my love. There would be no reason to live now. i've caused enough death and enough pain. I caused you pain. my knight in shining armor, the one who saved me from the burning wreckage after he killed my parents. You were there through it all. you protected me from peter, you were my shoulder to cry on when things got bad, you were my home, my lover, and all the family id ever need. You were everything to me, and now your gone. But why did I hear you laugh? Oh, how I remember your laugh, my love. That husky growl, that chuckle signatory of your humor. Why did you laugh at me? did you think it funny that I tried to help you? tried to pull you back from the veil? did you think me comical, my love? Was that funny to you as moony carried me away, screaming your name? Was I so funny you couldn't even manage a goodbye? Why didn't you say goodbye? Why didn't you give me that chance? Why couldn't dumbledore have given me that chance? I cant live without you, my love. I wont live without you,. you were everything that I loved and held dear. I must do this now, my love. I must leave this world in hopes that I may join you beneath the same black veil as I last saw you. laughing at me. laugh at this, love. Laugh for me well. I shall want to hear your laughter as the last sound entering my ears. The last face I see will not be a face, but a picture of a face. A memory, burned upon my mind like the lightning bolt scar on my forehead. Curse that scar,. Curse that scar and all its meanings. Curse it. curse him, curse that wanker pettigrew, curse dumbledore, curse my mother, curse my father, and above all, curse me. curse me my love and curse me well. I do not deserve to die so easy. I deserve to suffer, to suffer as your killer would have made me suffer. I wish i'd have gone with him. I wish that I would've let him kill me. a bargain, perhaps. But in my foolishness I did not fight hard enough. I was weak and as a result I am to die my death simple, and near free of pain. the little pain I will feel, I shall be thankful to feel. It is pain and suffering I deserve. I deserve so much worse then the death I shall fall upon. Do not fear, my love. I bear no regret as I draw this blade.  
  
Harry started to carve. He carved letters into his skin and with each letter more blood was freely flowing. Harry never flinched, he never cried for the pain. he smiled. He smiled for his destruction. He smiled at the crimson letters painted on his arms. He smiled. He was going back! He was going back into the ministry soon, he was going to see him again! He would soon again hear the laugh. The laugh that had since the death of its speaker been haunting his dreams. Oh, how Harry longed for that laugh. How he longed to hear the husky growl of his lover once more. Sweet words and happy tears as he did what he before could not do, and cross into the veil. there, he was finished. He was getting very lightheaded now. he lay back on his trusty old four poster bed at the only place besides number twelve grimmaud that he had been able to truthfully call home. Hogwarts. Things were going blurry now as he watched the blood race down his forearms and his wrists. His life was flashing before his eyes. And better towards the end he started smiling wider. Here they were. The end. And to the only memories worth keeping. The memories of him and his love. But now it had stopped on one image. That image. The image he had always turned to when in a pensive state and the image he had come to love. As the black closed in around him he held on to that image, floating in front of his eyes. The image of the man who laughed at his parents wedding. Soon lily, his beautiful mother who he shared his eyes with faded, then after that his father, who he had shared everything else with but the man who laughed still stayed.  
  
Ah, the gods have taken pity upon me. the last thing that I see in my life is my life. But he's dead now, as soon I shall be also. I tried to bare, but bearing is not worth it. if he were still here, it would be but no, he isn't. the love of my life, Sirius black is.  
  
All of a sudden things went all black for a moment then.  
  
Buckbeak?  
  
The hippogriff had died soon after Sirius hadn't come home. The bird had sensed his masters downfall. Buckbeak looked at him for a moment, then bowed. Harry, astounded, bowed as well. He went over to him, everything else bathed in light, and as if by some unknown instinct got on his back. He didn't fall through. He saw the amused glint in buckbeak's eye as they took off. For miles they flew, what seemed like an eternity, until they reached the ministry and, to Harrys further disbelief, flew right through the tops of the buildings. The light died down and now Harry could see,. They were whizzing through the halls. Harry knew them. he knew where the faithful hippogriff was taking him. He was taking him back to Sirius. When Harry came to the realization he hugged buckbeak's neck and spoke in his ear.  
  
"Thanks, ol pal."  
  
His voice. It was the same way that he had heard Sirius' blessed laugh, last he heard it. the same way he had heard his fathers voice, and the voice of his mother as they had dropped out of the wand of voldermort, and saved his life one last time. But now they had stopped, and Harry knew where. It was the veil. He was standing right at the front of the veil. Buckbeak walked through, and something entranced Harry keeping him there. and a few minutes later, buckbeak came back. But his back carried a great treasure. Black, mirroring eyes wide with shock, mouth agape as he slid off and ran up to the edge of the veil, was the soul of Sirius black. When Sirius reached beginning of the veil, he spoke with that same echoing quality.  
  
Harry.  
  
Sirius.  
  
What did you do?! stupid boy! Why did you come here? go back, Harry! You still have a chance to go back. You can live!  
  
No. not without you I cant. Sirius whether you want me or not i'm going to cross into the veil, but when I do cross I want to be with you. you said you wanted us to be together forever.  
  
What could have been identified in reality as a tear slid down Sirius' face. Buckbeak was waiting patiently off to the side. Harry was just smiling as Sirius spoke, his echoing voice still broken.  
  
Harry. is this really what you-  
  
I wouldn't have it any other way, my love.  
  
.Get over here then, cross the veil.  
  
Taking ginger and tentative steps,. Harry crossed the veil. The door shut behind him and once he was on this side Sirius pulled the youth into his arms and kissed him passionately. But back at hogwarts, the shrill sound of the house elf dobby's screams could be heard throughout as he read the bloody letters carved into the bloodless, lifeless form of Harry potter, his savior:  
  
I love you Sirius black  
  
And on the right arm, it read:  
  
Padfoot+harry forever 


End file.
